Confronting Your Comfort Zone

Do you ever walk into a room full of people and instantly feel like you need to escape?

Do you have a gut feeling that maybe you do NOT belong?

Then, let's have a chat.

As a child, I was always an extrovert. In fact, I believed one of the best things about me included my ability to be a social butterfly. With this confidence, I had many gained many friends or so I thought. Growing up, I was used to having a couple of bestfriends. Once I started having more friends, it was more difficult to truly understand their perception of me. I had myself convinced that I needed a higher quantity of friends rather than just a few with substantial quality.

I started to spend more time in this "friend group," rather than with those who I spent most of my life growing up with. For years, I thought it was their words and the rest of the world that defined me. I continued to carry the weight of feeling like I wasn't good enough, like I had nothing to offer to anyone. I constantly felt left out, rejected, and unworthy.

As time went by, I eventually reached high school—where I met my best friends. It took some time because I needed to transition the way I was thinking to a more positive way. From singing loudly in the car to having 3:00AM movie nights, I spent most of my time with them. My confidence grew slowly, especially since I had people in my life that I could confide in and help build me. They were honest, even if that meant telling me something I did not always want to hear. Many people began basing who I was off of my friendship with these girls. Although I could count the names of my friends on one hand, I was okay with that. I was not "cool" or "popular," but I was happy. Although drama would happen and secrets would be kept, we stuck together all throughout these years.

Eventually, college was approaching. I grew quick with fear and anxiety. For the most part, I would be two hours away from everyone that I held dear to my heart. I decided to join a sorority as an opportunity to meet new people. Although I met some incredible people, they were not my best friends at home. People get busy and they grow apart.

I get that, but I guess I was holding on deeply to something that was destined to change. Our experiences will continue to change us, whether that is positive or negative.

We should not expect people to continue staying the same, nor should we expect the same for ourselves. I was holding onto the past, instead of moving forward. I was focused on what other people's journeys looked like instead of my own. Over time, your life will change. You will change. The people around you will change. Rather than feeling trapped--we have to move forward even if it is uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

Unfortunately, I did not realize this at the time.

I felt stuck and alone for the most part.

My isolation grew as I struggled to find a community of friends,

I spent almost an entire semester confined to the four walls of my bedroom. Loreli and Rory from "Gilmore Girls" were more realistic friends compared to the many faces that I passed walking to class everyday. I hated having to go to meetings or events that involved seeing other people. I had grown to become an extreme introvert.

The only place I truly felt comfortable was in my bed, alone and safe.

“Great things never come from comfort zones.”

In just one semester, I gained twenty pounds. I sunk into a hole of depression, anxiety, fear, and paranoia. I failed my Anatomy course, which put me on track to be a semester behind in college. I just completely stopped caring about most things in my life at the time. I skipped many of my classes, deciding that naps were a better option. I missed out on plans because I last-minute decided to back out on them. I was paying to be apart of a sorority that I hardly put any effort into. I stopped keeping in touch with those that I love and began to believe that I had no place in their life. I felt extremely distant from God.

I spent all this time on my own, yet I even felt distant from myself.

I became someone I did not recognize--someone I didn't want to be.

How could I expect people to love and accept me if I couldn't find a way to do the same?

At my lowest point, I realized this had to change.

This was not the life that God created me for.

For He created me to be victorious.

A word was placed on my heart--transformation.

I sought to become transformed, to completely renew myself.

This required effort--I needed to redirect my thoughts, change my habits, and embrace who I was created to be.

I realized I was never going to find this version of myself if I remained in my comfort zone. Therefore, I did more of what made me feel uncomfortable. For my life to truly change, I needed to experience things I had never experienced before. I needed to break down the walls I had built around myself for months because I would never be able to change my perception of the world around me by looking at the plain, white walls of my bedroom.

I used to hate walking into a room full of people. I would build my thoughts with so much negativity that I would feel too anxious to even walk into my classrooms.

I shifted my perspective.

Would people actually stare me down when I walked into the room? Probably not.

Would people be bothered if I tried to have a conversation with them? Probably not.

All these fears originated from an internal place, which needed to change. No one was robbing me from experiencing joy--except for myself. I could let myself if I wanted to.

I changed many of my habits that became a norm for me. Instead of binge eating at fast foot restaurants, I tried out meal prepping. Instead of isolating myself in my bedroom, I would sit in the living room and try to have more conversations with my roommates. Instead of driving my car to class, I would ride the bus and seek out opportunities to connect with others. I would try to put my phone down and engage with people.

Many of these habits seemed inconvenient and not ideal at times, but provoked change and I deeply needed that in my life. I said yes to more things, instead of shutting myself out in fear. I was more spontaneous, more initiative for the things that needed to be done. I discovered more about myself and the things I liked along the way.

I stopped defining myself by the opinions of others-- by things I had no control over.

Right when I felt like I was drowning, God pulled me out of it.

You are capable of more than you will ever understand.

You may not be able to control the unpredictable circumstances or people around you, but you can choose the way that YOU will respond and act to them.

Transformation takes place when you start changing things about yourself for the better, even if it means escaping from your comfort zone.

The Lord desires to use you and He will make beautiful things out of your mess.